Dear Emperor Palpatine:
Let me begin by saying that I am a huge fan. Really, I love your work. You are an inspiration to aspiring villains everywhere. I feel, however, that you have forgotten just how influential your fame is. Obviously, this is not your primary concern (crushing the resistance of a rebellious galaxy is no small task, I’m sure), but you cannot deny that it is high time you accepted that you, as a role model to impressionable young villains-to-be, need to be much more responsible with your decisions. Doubtless you have already heard about the critiques of the Conservative Villain Movement, which names you the #1 Worst Role Model in the Galaxy.